Tag Archives: social media
Corporate Share Buttons - The Anti-Social Media

F%&k You Friday! Corporate Share Buttons

Corporate Share Buttons - The Anti-Social MediaBusinesses - I get it.

Social media is scary. You see the potential to develop strong relationships and loyalty with your customers. But you also see all the pitfalls and hear stories about businesses being screwed royally by one stray message.

Honestly, no one wants to deal with one more inbox of angry customers.

But adding some buttons so people can share your website isn’t a social media strategy.

A social media strategy takes time and effort. It’s hard work that most of us avoid when we’re on social networks because we want to escape our lonely existence of sitting at home in our underwear watching another episode of Roseanne on Netflix. You need to figure out what the hell your goals are, who will do the work (because it is work, chump), and what your worst case scenarios are.

And as soon as you create it, you probably need to adjust it. Doesn’t that suck?

So when you put an icon on your website to share it on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn, that’s not a social media strategy. That doesn’t even make sense. Most people want to share useful and fun content. Not a corporate website. Your corporate website isn’t fun.

Those buttons say “Promote me even though I’m doing jack shit for you.” Is that what you want to tell the people who pay you?

Figure out how to talk to human beings. Human beings who love you, hate you, and who are complete psychopaths. They may be crazy, but at the end of they day, they are human, and however feeble and weak the connection they create on the social network, they’ll feel better for it.

So take down your crappy share buttons. Say “Fuck you” to the idiot who put them up there, and get to work creating real conversations and relationships with the people who care enough to praise, complain, and interact with your company.

It will be worth it.

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Darth Vader - The Anti-Social Media

3 Ways to Attain Social Media Godhood

Darth Vader - The Anti-Social MediaSocial media is supposed to be a fun way to connect and share with your friends. But you know what’s also fun? Using social media ruthlessly and at the cost of others to attain your personal goals such as greed, gluttony, and the envy of others.

So what kinds of goals should you set to reach the pinnacle of these vices? I’ve narrowed it down to three easy categories:

  • Sell Crap - This is so easy. Find a cheap product to sell (I recommend knock-off Viagra or imitation Coach bags). Then pester everyone you know to sell it. Tell them they get more discounts when they share it with more friends. Eventually, you’ll start building a social pyramid that will have you raking in cash while people you’ve never heard of are selling products that have no value. The goal and execution are easy. You just have to hope it all workout in the end.
  • Endlessly Annoy People - Sure, you can tell people anything you want using e-mail, websites, TV, mail, billboards, and countless other forms of advertising. But why not  penetrate their groups of friends and use them against themselves? There is nothing as pleasurable as the feeling when you successfully use friends to keep saying the same thing and promoting the same crap for your benefit.
  • Build a Cult - Some people call this loyalty. I say who needs loyalty when you can have blind devotion. If you can get your followers to jump off a cliff based on a tweet, it’s a cult. Building this cult is the most important thing you can do. These are the people who will troll your enemies, feed you, and pay your mortgage. Do whatever it takes to build this cult. The cult is great and worthy or your undivided attention.

Have your goal now? I’ve got mine. I’m offering you a spot in my new social media religion. “Liking” on Facebook is more than clicking a button, it is a way of reaching Nirvana. Join me. Do everything I say, and together we can reach social enlightenment.

Or we can make a few bucks selling fake pills to idiots. It’s win-win either way.

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True Colors - The Anti-Social Media

Sex, Facebook, and Social Media Diversity

True Colors - The Anti-Social MediaLast week I read two great blog posts about diversity in social media thought leadership by Jay Baer and Danny Brown. Both are great posts and raise some really great questions about issues social media marketers and business leaders need to keep in mind. However,  they made me think of my own experiences with diversity.

I am as privileged as any white male in American society. However, I am gay, which is an entirely different kind of minority status. When I read about diversity, I think about the subject in broader terms than just race alone.

Online, it’s easy to think about race in terms of diversity. Everyone is an egomaniac, so their avatar, their Facebook profile, and their blog is filled with their picture. You make a judgement of what race they are based on what you see and then move on from there. Sexuality is something completely different. Unless I am puking rainbows in the pride parade and post a million photos about it, I look like every other geeky white male with a social media blog. My minority is invisible until I start talking about it.

What is most interesting to me about sexual diversity online is how it is treated on Facebook. Facebook doesn’t see racial diversity. You don’t enter your race when you sign up for Facebook.  Facebook doesn’t classify and segregate you by the color of your skin. Only Facebook users classify other users by race.

But, if you choose to enter the information, Facebook classifies you by your sexuality.

I may volunteer this information, but by doing so, the factor that makes me a minority is public knowledge. Even if I don’t enter that information and state I am in a relationship with another man, my status becomes known.

And once this is known by Facebook, it starts targeting you based on your sexuality like a shark that has caught the scent of blood.

Even after being in a domestic partnership with my cat for two months (who is listed as female), I still get ads that are targeted at gay men. Ads for websites like “Bear City.” Ads for “Pants that give you a Great Butt.” Ads for “Cute, sexy underwear.”

This is horrific. As marketers, why do we find it acceptable to target someone on ANY minority status? Why is it OK to target a woman because she is a lesbian, but not because she is black?

Imagine if one of these ads that targets gay men gave me a discount code and I use that discount code. Now that institution knows my minority status. They can’t target you because you are black or white, but they can capitalize on every penny because you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or straight.

We can talk all we want about diversity online and the need to include people of different races and sexualities. Those are always good things to have at the top of mind. Today we can make an immediate difference. Marketers: stop targeting Facebook ads based on sexual identity. Tell Facebook is it unacceptable to target people based on ANY minority status.

Start thinking about diversity beyond just what you can see on the outside of a person, and start thinking about the whole of their life. There’s more to any person than the tiny portrait they present online and the color of their skin in that avatar. As leaders on a new frontier, it is our duty to lead the way on this issue. Stop discriminating, and do a better job.

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You're Doing it Wrong - The Anti-Social Media

Chrysler, Storytelling, and Social Media Responses

You're Doing it Wrong - The Anti-Social MediaEverything you share on social media, whether that content is your own or produced by someone else, tells your story.

Last week was very busy for me with my professional events, and at every single one of them my peers and colleagues spoke about Chrysler. I haven’t heard anyone talk about Chrysler this much in my entire lifetime. This even includes after the auto-bailouts and listening to Love Shack on repeat for hours.

So, either something is very right or very wrong.  I’d take a bet towards wrong because people love talking about disaster more than positive things.

So cut to Saturday night around 9:20, when I saw a friend retweet this message from Chrysler:

Chrysler - Somebody got it right http://blogs.forbes.com/joannmuller/2011/03/11/say-nice-things-about-the-motor-city-or-else/

I, feeling particularly anti-social media that night, replied.

TheAntiMedia - @Chrysler Somebody took your side. Big f*#%in’ deal.

Within a few minutes, I surprisingly got this reply.

Chrysler - @TheAntiMedia You missed the point. She’s not taking our side. She’s reporting the greater context. One f-bomb didn’t take down an agency.

I was amazed that I actually got a reply out of Chrysler at 9:30 pm on a Saturday. What were they doing, trying to tell their story to the world on a Saturday night when most normal people are only using Twitter to announce how much fun they’re having? Were they just asking for trouble from punks like me?

Looking back at this brief exchange, it seems surreal. I understand Chyrsler monitoring Twitter 24/7 right now because of the incident, but I don’t buy the response I got. They wouldn’t have shared that story from Forbes if it didn’t support the story they want to tell. I still don’t get why they responded to a user with a name The Anti-Media and whose avatar is a cartoon. That’s just feeding the troll.

Still, the story Chrysler is telling is focused on defense. It bears witness to their story alone, a story of a mistake, someone getting fired, and an agency losing its contract. There is nothing positive for people to take away or to make them feel like Chrysler has learned from its mistake.

We all have many stories to tell. The trouble is choosing the right one to tell, the  right time to tell it,  and the right way to share it.

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