I took an unannounced vacation last week because I’m a D-dist Blogger and I make my own rules. I do what I want and I treat my readers like little sociopaths. It’s the glamorous life at its finest.
However, I always get asked, “Jay, what’s it like being a social media star? Do they give you free coffee at Starbucks? Do you get recognized everywhere you go? Are the groupies awesome?”
Let me tell you, it’s not like that at all. In fact, it’s even worse. There’s no free coffee. You’re only recognized by insane stalkers. And there are no groupies. Just Twitter followers.
Want to see how amazing the life of a blogger is? Let’s go through my typical social media day.
7 am: Wake up. Look at my iPhone and see I’ve got 200 new e-mails. I whine to my cat, and then slam my face back into a pillow.
8 am: Wake up again. See it’s 8, and rush into the shower, eat some breakfast, and run to work. I begin looking through all 200 e-mails, and see most of them require no attention of mine. Mass delete becomes my friend.
9 am: Get to work. Work on making the Facebook more fun and social for my clients. Open up Tweetdeck and begin looking into the Matrix.
10 am: Keep working on Facebook. Maybe having a meeting or two. Keep one eye on the Matrix incase anything weird pops up, like a free iPad or some other crap.
11 am: Keep working on Facebook, maybe switch to Twitter for the hour just for kicks.
12 pm: Decide I want lunch. Realize I forgot to pack a lunch. Decide that McDonald’s will do. Run out to the golden arches as my arteries begin to clog in anticipation. Read more e-mails on my phone while stuck in the drive through line because everyone else wants delicious Chicken McNuggets. Eventually scarf down my lunch and take a nap in my car.
1 pm: Return to work. Keep working on Facebook. Rejoice from the being revived after my nap and the intake of a full 32 ounces of coke.
2 pm: More work on Facebook. This is usually the point where I consider making an app that would crush my enemies. I like to call it, “Catville.”
3 pm: Get called away from Facebook to go to a meeting about Facebook. I can’t get my fix, but it’s close enough for an hour.
4 pm: Switch to LinkedIn and YouTube at this time of day just to really throw people for a loop.
5 pm: Finish up work. Call someone from my family on the drive home. Hope I don’t have to scream at any incompetent drivers who are texting or sitting in the middle of the road with no apparent idea how to drive because they are too busy tweeting about that funny thing they said to their coworker.
6 pm: Make dinner. Give affection to the cat who has been hiding in my bedroom closet all day because she is afraid of anything within our apartment when I am not available to scare it away.
7 pm: Go to the community theatre to do work. This could also be replaced with go to a networking event depending on the night.
8 pm: Wrap up at the theatre or networking event. Begin driving home and thinking of something to blog about. If I get a good idea, I possibly record an audio note with my basic ideas. Usually I just like to sing along to the radio instead.
9 pm: Look at my blog and see all the comments. Decide that I need to give my readers some attention and plow through the comments as fast as possible.
10 pm: Plow through Google Reader. Share the one article worth sharing, usually something about how Facebook is killing us all. Begin writing my blog post.
11 pm: Finish up my blog post and draw the cartoon.
12 pm: Collapse into bed. Hope I don’t have to do the same thing again tomorrow.
So there you go. The glamourous life a D-List blogger leads. Sounds sexy, doesn’t it? I know I get excited when I read that schedule.
Is your blogging life that awesome? LEt me know so when I come back at 9 pm I’ll have someone to talk to.