Because the internet is fueled on rumors and nonsense, here’s what will happen in 2012. If it doesn’t happen, well it will all be ok. I think.
- Facebook will change once more, and everyone will hate it. - We all know it will change, and it will suck balls.
- Twitter will get even worse - Monetizing Twitter will take over idea to allow users to share meaningful messages. Twitter will become filled with crappy more 140 character ads, spambots, and insightful hashtags like #mydickinthreewords. Twitter will only hang on because the mass media will give it more hype than it deserves.
- Nobody except job seekers and self-absorbed, so-called
assholesexperts will care about LinkedIn. Oh, and Betty from HR will like it as well. But it’s her job to care about LinkedIn.
- Google+ will either make it or fail miserably - Time to put up or shut up Google.
- Quora will go away - Seriously, it’s still here?
- There will be at least 20 new social networks that claim to be “Facebook Killers” - No one sane will use them besides Linux users and Android elitists.
- The entire internet will be absorbed in baseless iPhone rumors - Because our entire existence and worth as a human is based solely on successfully predicting a mobile phone we’ll use for a year until the next one comes out.
- There will be at least one viral cat video - Wait. There will be hundreds. And they will be the best ones ever.
Honestly, most of that is just expansions of what happened in 2011, but who am I kidding? It’s not like someone will be clever enough to make a successfully monetized social network without a newsfeed and a slew of advertising. That’s just too creative.
So here’s to 2012. May my Facebook newsfeed be ever filled with sponsored stories!