Marco.org: The ad delusion

Have you ever met any of those brainwashed advertising people who believe that regular people like their ads and see them as content and are dying to see more?

Whoever added these arrows to AdSense is one of those people.

Someone involved with this truly believed that enough people want to…

Marco usually writes about technology, but this article is a really good break down of why so many Google and Facebook features are opt-out.

This is how I feel about Google Buzz: Google Buzz is like Gmail had unprotected sex with all my social networks. I realize Google makes money by running ads against content I search for, or running ads in services I use, like Gmail or Google Reader.  Servers don’t run and maintain themselves for free, so I get that they need to do this, and probably want to make some good money while they are at it. But the way Google rolled out Buzz was insane.  Instead of a new service that integrated with the old ones, Buzz permanently ties to my Gmail account, which is my primary e-mail account.  Granted, all these people were already in contact with me a lot through email, but I didn’t need to give them all immediate access to my thoughts in their e-mail too, when they probably get my thoughts on Facebook and Twitter. I’m not buying that users are embracing Buzz.  It seems most people I know wrote, “OMG!  I’m on Google Buzz!” and then they were finished.  My friends who are big on Buzz were big on sharing and commenting on Google Reader already.  I’ll agree that Buzz probably had 9 million posts and comments at first, but how long will it play out when it’s not new and shiny? I could already read shared items from my contacts I chose to share with in Google Reader.  I don’t need to send them with the whole internet, they’re already out there for the whole internet to read.  Most of my friends share photos on flickr or Facebook, so I don’t need to share them on Buzz.  Finally, I can post links basically anywhere.  So, Buzz just does the same thing, but now it’s invading Gmail. So, now I have to deal with more unwanted clutter in my Gmail, which already gets a lot of clutter because I’ve been using Gmail for 6 years. I don’t care that I can turn Buzz off because I never wanted it in the first place.  Google has more than enough ways to get my eyes and make money advertising from me.  I want Gmail to do one thing well.  That thing is E-mail. Google, you couldn’t Orkut it in the first place, and now you’re nearing my personal buzzsaw.  Stop sleeping around with my contacts, and stay the hell away from my email.

This is how I feel about Google Buzz:

Google Buzz is like Gmail had unprotected sex with all my social networks.

I realize Google makes money by running ads against content I search for, or running ads in services I use, like Gmail or Google Reader.  Servers don’t run and maintain themselves for free, so I get that they need to do this, and probably want to make some good money while they are at it.

But the way Google rolled out Buzz was insane.  Instead of a new service that integrated with the old ones, Buzz permanently ties to my Gmail account, which is my primary e-mail account.  Granted, all these people were already in contact with me a lot through email, but I didn’t need to give them all immediate access to my thoughts in their e-mail too, when they probably get my thoughts on Facebook and Twitter.

I’m not buying that users are embracing Buzz.  It seems most people I know wrote, “OMG!  I’m on Google Buzz!” and then they were finished.  My friends who are big on Buzz were big on sharing and commenting on Google Reader already.  I’ll agree that Buzz probably had 9 million posts and comments at first, but how long will it play out when it’s not new and shiny?

I could already read shared items from my contacts I chose to share with in Google Reader.  I don’t need to send them with the whole internet, they’re already out there for the whole internet to read.  Most of my friends share photos on flickr or Facebook, so I don’t need to share them on Buzz.  Finally, I can post links basically anywhere.  So, Buzz just does the same thing, but now it’s invading Gmail.

So, now I have to deal with more unwanted clutter in my Gmail, which already gets a lot of clutter because I’ve been using Gmail for 6 years.

I don’t care that I can turn Buzz off because I never wanted it in the first place.  Google has more than enough ways to get my eyes and make money advertising from me.  I want Gmail to do one thing well.  That thing is E-mail.

Google, you couldn’t Orkut it in the first place, and now you’re nearing my personal buzzsaw.  Stop sleeping around with my contacts, and stay the hell away from my email.

Parisian Love needs Ultimate Control.

Google, this is the year 2010, not the year 2000.  Your dominance in web search is all but assured at this point.  Why did you need to advertise on the Super Bowl?  Were you worried that the American public, in its haze of beer and buffalo wings had forgotten you and will wake up after their deep-fried orgy and start searching on Bing?

Whatever the case, you tried to use the telvision medium to tell a story.  Unfortunately, what this video proves is not that Google tells a story, but leaves a story open up to a lot of interpretation as they mine your data for a story.  Sure, I thought the commercial was cute the first time I saw it.  But after watching the commercial again, I have a lot of deep concerns.

I’m really worried about the searcher.  The searcher doesn’t know French well at all and has to look up a pretty basic phrase.  Web translators have come a long way, but they are no better than looking the words up in a dictionary.  And how are you expected to succeed studying abroad if you don’t even know how to get laid?  What’s worse is the lover gives up his dream of a carefree, long distance relationship for a “job in France.”  Buddy, you might have noticed there’s something called a global recession going on.  If you can’t speak French well, and you have no idea what field you might work in, searching “jobs in France” will end you up at the Paris McDonald’s, which is just as bad as the one down the street in America.

Then we get to the search for churches.  The obvious story suggests that the pair gets married, but the search doesn’t necessarily show that. Maybe the baby they later build the crib for is a bastard out of wedlock.  Also, perhaps the searcher just wanted to be closer to Jesus, Buddha, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster in his new life as a Parisian burger flipper, since they never suggest a wedding really happens.

This commercial is the perfect example of why you have to take control of your story in full detail.  If you don’t, crazy people will rewrite it into the story of a student studying abroad and getting the wool pulled over his eyes by a cheap Parisian hussie.

You’re too lazy to make a personal brand, Part 2. What’s in a name?

Reader Allison Najman made a great point in the comments on my post on personal branding.  She wrote:

It also helps if you have a unique name that no famous person or sports player has. You know, something like Najman :)

Allison is a great point. You need a name that stands out, so change your name.  If your parents were cruel and gave you a name like John Smith, change it to something more exciting.  Velociraptor Smith is a much better name.  Not only does it recall a prehistoric, flesh-eating dinosaur, there just aren’t that many Velociraptor Smith’s.

Given the choice between hiring John Smith and Velociraptor Smith, I’d go with Velociraptor.  Why?  It’s unique, it’s memorable, and it strikes fear into the hearts of my competitors.  Changing your name not only improves your search results, it essentially rewrites what your personal brand is.

So be lazy but unique and make your name stand out so your work doesn’t have to.

You’re too lazy to make a personal brand

It’s hard to make a personal brand.  Take it from me.  I’ve been using the internet for over a decade, and I’m still number two on Google, and I’ve tried my damnedest to be number one.

With things such as search engine optimization and shameless whoring self-promotion, you can bump yourself up in Google’s rankings.  But that’s only going to do so much.  You can tweak the system, claim your identity as much as you want, but there’s still something missing from all that to make yourself number one.

To make a good personal brand, you have to consistently turn out amazing work.  Not mediocre, not good, but AMAZING.

And that is hard as hell.

You have to do it every day.  You have to be likeable.  Even worse, you want this to happen online, so you better work your ass off on the internet.  You’ve got to be smart, timely, and worst of all, social.

This isn’t fun and games.  It’s hard work.  You’ve already got a great life.  Why do you need to work your ass off for a slice of online glory?