Bin Laden’s Undeath Spreads Through Social Media

Social Media Zombie - The Anti-Social MediaSince Osama Bin Laden has died, he has had more life online than ever before. No longer content to release video and audio cassettes, his shambling corpse has clawed its way back into all aspects of society. People all across America report seeing his name online frequently, especially on Facebook and Twitter.

Some reports even mention people whose brains have been fully consumed by zombie Bin Laden. These poor souls have had their hearts and minds turned against them, consumed with nothing but reading and posting updates about Bin Laden. Obsessive. they come up with conspiracy theories and hypotheses, attempting to explain that the man is still alive, even after his corpse has dragged itself across the social network.

If you believe you or a loved one has been bitten by zombie Bin Laden, treatment is available. Take the following precautions to prevent them spreading the plague of undeath:

  • Shut off all news services. This includes the internet, tv, radio. Basically, turn off anything that can give them a grain of truth that can be spun into a rumor that has no legs to stand on.
  • Remove ways to communicate. Zombie Bin Laden cannot live if people don’t talk about him. Unlike most zombies who feed on the actual brains of people, he feeds on the thoughts, conversations, and hypotheses of everyday people. Limiting the range and scope of crazy rumors creates immediate containment.
  • Remove the Head or Destroy the Brain. It’s always good to have a basic reminder of how to deal with the undead and those who have been infected by them. It may seem extreme, but sometimes it’s the only way.

The only way to stop the plague of Bin Laden’s undeath is to stop the sharing of insane rumors on social networks. You too can make a difference. Will you stop this plague of undeath before it consumes us all?


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4 Responses to “Bin Laden’s Undeath Spreads Through Social Media”

  1. Rob May 10, 2011 at 1:45 pm #

    Don’t forget the “Double Tap.” It is a very important rule in dealing with zombies. Or, I guess online, would it be the “Double click”?

    • Jay May 10, 2011 at 3:01 pm #

      Or right click to see all available options, such as burn at the stake.

  2. Sydney @ Social Dynamics May 11, 2011 at 9:25 pm #

    It’s almost like how there’s a cluster of people who believes that Elvis still lives and is hiding in an island, being merry and whatnot. I guess, that’s how the third of the population cope, they live in denial, it’s a state they’re comfortable in.

    • Jay May 11, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

      Wait, Elvis is dead? NOOOOOOOOO!