SinceÂ Osama Bin Laden has died, he has had more life online than ever before. No longer content to release video and audio cassettes, his shambling corpse has clawed its way back into all aspects of society. People all across America report seeing his name online frequently, especially on Facebook and Twitter.
Some reports even mention people whose brains have been fully consumed by zombie Bin Laden. These poor souls have had their hearts and minds turned against them, consumed with nothing but reading and posting updates about Bin Laden. Obsessive. they come up with conspiracy theories and hypotheses, attempting to explain that the man is still alive, even after his corpse has dragged itself across the social network.
If you believe you or a loved one has been bitten by zombie Bin Laden, treatment is available. Take the following precautions to prevent them spreading the plague of undeath:
- Shut off all news services. This includes the internet, tv, radio. Basically, turn off anything that can give them a grain of truth that can be spun into a rumor that has no legs to stand on.
- Remove ways to communicate. Zombie Bin Laden cannot live if people donâ€™t talk about him. Unlike most zombies who feed on the actual brains of people, he feeds on the thoughts, conversations, and hypotheses of everyday people. Limiting the range and scope of crazy rumors creates immediate containment.
- Remove the Head or Destroy the Brain. Itâ€™s always good to have a basic reminder of how to deal with the undead and those who have been infected by them. It may seem extreme, but sometimes itâ€™s the only way.
The only way to stop the plague of Bin Ladenâ€™s undeath is to stop the sharing of insane rumors on social networks. You too can make a difference. Will you stop this plague of undeath before it consumes us all?