The Anti-Social Media

This is not Social Media News, Mashable.

Hi Facebook.  We need to talk.  Seriously talk.  None of this “My crops need fertilizing” or “such as so likes this”, but real talk.

I’m sick of your twisted “suggestions.”

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Let’s have quick walk down memory lane.

I joined “The Facebook” in 2004.  Remember your definite article? Remember the guy?  They were there too.  I joined when I was in college, when THE Facebook was ONLY for colleges.  Wasn’t that a crazy time?  College students could find other students at their school with similar interests, and then we could meet each other. Crazy, isn’t it?

Then you opened up to High School Students, and we all whined.  Why would you let those little brats in with us, cool hip nearly twenty somethings and people with access to college e-mail addresses?  Then you opened up to everyone, and we all whined again, but you ignored us.  Slowly, all hell broke loose.

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It’s bad enough I have to deal with friends who invite me to every single one of their events even though I’m not within 1,000 miles of them.  Or my other friends who fill my news feed with apps so shady not even the sun can shine through them.  I can deal with my stupid friends, I made the choice to connect with hem.  What I can’t deal with is your servers trying to play stupid cupid.

I realize that you get money from displaying those ads on EVERY SINGLE page I look at.  And I know you aren’t above giving all that precious data away about me and my friends’ interests to make a buck.  And every connection I make, every app I waste time in, is just another way to earn another dollar.

So, let’s get down to business Facebook, because these “suggestions” are really ways to make a killing business opportunities.  The more time I spend on your site, the more ads I see, the more chance I might click on one of them, and then you get paid and you’re a happy website.

Me on the other hand, I’m losing faith in the little online world I’ve set up.  I’m sick your servers desperately searching for another dollar to keep them alive and feed your coffers.  There’s only so much creepiness I can take before I ditch Facebook for another social network that might be a little more subtle about stealing my time, content, and personal information to make money.

Let this letter stand as a warning.

And one last thing Facebook.  Remember when MySpace was king, and everyone wondered what the deal was with the tiny, clean competitor called Facebook?  On the web usability, content, and transparency are king.  No one, not even Facebook, is safe.

This is not Social Media News, Mashable.

NBC vs. Social Media: I’m with CoCo (as long as it’s easy)

There’s a lot of buzz going round about the madness over at NBC all about The Tonight Show, Jay Leno, Conan O’Brien, and low ratings.

Then I see people are changing their Avatar to the above in supposrt of Conan keeping the Tonight Show in it’s early time slot.  They tweet about the madness.  They blog about how much it sucks.  Consumerist released the names and e-mails of NBC executives so people can write in support.

But here’s the thing.

NBC doesn’t care too much about how much you tweet, or change your avatar, or send them mindless e-mails. NBC cares about money.  They see you care when you turn your hearts, minds, and television sets to NBC.  When they have more viewers, advertisers pay more to be in their commercial breaks, and then NBC keeps paying to make the show so it makes more money.

It costs NBC more money to read your angry tweets, e-mails, and look at your avatar. It’s cheaper for them to ignore you and put the new programming in place.  NBC is in the television industry to MAKE money, not lose it drowning in sea of angry digital messages.

The way I see it, if you want to make a real difference, you’ve got two options.

1. Keep giving them money. Don’t mass e-mail them.  Instead, make it a nightly habit to watch The Tonight Show with Conan every single night you can.  Boost his ratings, and give NBC the incentive to keep him exactly where he is.
2. Cut them off: Mass E-mail NBC.  Tell them you won’t watch ANY NBC Universal programming unless Conan is kept on the Tonight Show at 11:35.  Then stick to your guns and make them bleed.

Take action to hit them where it hurts, or give the incentive to keep things the way they are.  That’s how you change what’s on your TV.  Changing your Facebook pic only makes you look like you jumped on a bandwagon.

As for me?  I’m with Letterman.  Have been since I was 10, and plan to stay that way.

Feature: How NOT to Tweet with Sarah Palin

Sarah Palin’s Twitter is the internet train wreck of Social Media.  You know it’s really awful, but at the same time, you can’t look away.  And if you’re a masochist like me (and face it,  if you’re here, you probably are), you keep coming back for more.

Today’s lesson is coherence and concision.  On Twitter, you’ve got 140 characters to work with, and by hell you better make sure each one works.

This tweet fails.  Let’s see why.

Sarah starts out with a question, which is good.  Twitter is AMAZING for questions.  Your followers can instantly send back replies or forward it onto their followers to an answer.

However,this question is awful.  It’s almost rhetorical, it leaves her open to attacks, and she wastes 2 characters by spelling “out” instead of typing “w/o.”  A better question for her to ask is “Do you like my new $15,000 down jacket paid for by FOX News?”  or “Want to see me make Sean Hannity my bitch every day on FOX News?”  These questions have simple yes or no answers, but can also facilitate discussion.

The next part of her tweet is crappy grammatically.  “w/team” Sarah?  Your missing indefinite article is important.  Also, the missing spaces between “fair&balanced” make it more difficult to read.  This sentence is so long it would be a great stand-alone tweet, but in this form it is some awful carry-on attached by the periods to the rest of her tweet.

The last part of her tweet is a disaster.  “Please join us!”  Who is us?  Are you plural Sarah?  Do you mean Fox News?  Do you you mean the GOP?  WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?  Worse still is how do I join?  You give no link, no terms, no nothing.  If I google “us” I get “US Magazine”  Should I subscribe?  I might, because they at least know how to write three coherent sentences.

What have we learned?

• Questions are good, but keep the possible answers simple.
• Use proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation.
• Be specific.
• Provide appropriate follow up information in a link.

Any questions?

You can’t avoid social media.

It’s everywhere.  It started with those awful jokes your cousins would forward to you and now you know everything about people you long forgot who crawled back into your life.

This blog is intended for the people who don’t give a damn about social media, those who’d cut off their right thumb before giving up tweeting, those who’d cut off the right thumb of the person tweeting, and the countless masses caught somewhere in the middle of this Bermuda triangle of the internet.

I’m here to remind you that sometimes you need to get off the internet to make real things happen.  Just because something is posted on Facebook doesn’t make it Facebook official, and your LinkedIn connections will treat you better if you give them a call or two.  Don’t get me started on trying to follow the so called Social Media Guide .

Welcome to the jaded view of the internet.  Remember, some things just aren’t worth sharing.