Social Media Made Me Fat

Social Media Made Me Fat - The Anti-Social Media

The more my life involves social media, including this blog, the lazier I get. And the lazier I get, the fatter I get.

These days, my clothes are tighter in the wrong places. I don’t feel as good when I look in the mirror. And woman don’t look at me the same way.

Well, women never looked at me that way.

Social media promotes physical inactivity. It asks us to spend more of our time living our lives together on the screen instead of together the real world.

In a perfect world, everyone would exercise appropriately and eat foods that aren’t pumped full of artificial crap. But our world is imperfect. We spend out days sitting on our ass and we eat our weight in high fructose corn syrup.

Social media is just one more distraction that keeps people out of the gym or from cooking a dinner that is full of wholesome nutrients. It’s no more of a distraction than video games, television, or any other modern electronic amusement. But I really didn’t need one more.

So I started taking care of myself. Instead of spending my whole life trying to create the perfect digital persona, I went to the gym. I made healthier meals. I took time to get my emotions in check.

You’re not missing anything by stepping away from Twitter for an hour to take care of yourself. Facebook can wait while you go to the gym. And if you think you are missing something, then just look at what’s trending to see how little you’re actually missing.

When you come back, we’ll all be jealous of your tight abs, firm butt, and rippling pectorals.


14 Responses to “Social Media Made Me Fat”

  1. Allison February 21, 2012 at 10:22 am #

    And don’t forget actual human interaction, not just online.

    • Jay February 21, 2012 at 11:58 am #

      I like to forget all interaction because I’m a sociopath.

  2. Camilo Olea February 21, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    What? You mean there’s life outside Facebook? *Gasp*

    Seriously, its nice to hear you’re taking care of yourself properly. :)

    • Jay February 21, 2012 at 11:58 am #

      If eating a diet entirely made of pizza is proper.

  3. Lauren McMullen February 21, 2012 at 11:42 am #

    I have an idea! I am going to attach my ipad to my treadmill… except I gave away the . treadmill because I did not use it for anything except a place to hang clothes. I wonder if they will give it back?

    • Jay February 21, 2012 at 11:59 am #

      There used to be a woman who lifted weights while watching crap on her iPad at my gym. I always wanted to see her drop a 20lb weight on it to see if it survived.

      • Andrew R. February 21, 2012 at 5:11 pm #

        But will it blend?

        • Jay February 21, 2012 at 6:01 pm #

          What won’t blend?

  4. carol barbieri February 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm #

    Interacting with real people helps us remain human and engaged. It requires some level of social etiquette.
    Interacting with your laptop or your smartphone distances us from each other replacing face-to-face conversations with detached Tweets and other truncated comments. It encourages isolation and probably overeating as well while we sit in our pajamas staring into a screen, eating some sugar/salt/chemical-laden “food”.
    Not that long ago, if someone called you a “Twit” that was considered insulting and pejorative. Today, most people who spend half their lives “connected on-line” via Twitter, Facebook, etc., could still be considered a “Twit” and probably overweight also.
    Go for a walk, a run, a bike ride! Get outside, talk to people! You’ll be happier that did it.

  5. Claire Wagner February 21, 2012 at 1:02 pm #

    I’m eating cookies for breakfast while catching up on blogs and Facebook. Not. Kidding. This was a timely reminder.

    • Jay February 21, 2012 at 1:15 pm #

      I’m eating Girl Scout cookies while I reply to your comment. They’re amazing. I’m going to run them off later.

  6. Rommel February 22, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

    I. Simply. Agree. Nothing constructive to add. ‘Nuff said.

    • Jay February 22, 2012 at 10:08 pm #


  7. Frances February 24, 2012 at 5:42 pm #

    I miss those days when I used to come home after school eager to go outside to play with my friends. Now I see my friends on Facebook & Twitter. I defiantly need to get out more these days. I see that being online is a distraction especially since I can bring the distraction with me everywhere. Nature should be the new social media.

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