This is how some people see Life Events on Facebook:
This is how other people see life events on Facebook:
Tag Archives: facebook
Get Your Crappy Facebook Games Out of My Newsfeed
The past few weeks, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of unwanted updates in my Facebook newsfeed:
- James and three other friends played Farmville.
- Amy and two friends are playing Word with Friends
- Bob is playing Give Me Back My Life.
Didn’t we already go through this in 2009?
Facebook is slowly experimenting with bringing games back into the newsfeed. Bastards.
Those updates aren’t my friends telling me how awesome a game is. That’s Facebook trying to lure me to spend more time on Facebook. I’m sure half of my friends don’t even know their playtime is being corrupted into crappy advertisements.
Games used to be so entertaining and exciting that you had to tell people about them. They brought so much joy into your life, that if you didn’t let someone else share that joy, you were doing a disservice to the human race.
Real game makers still make games like this. I read about those games in messages from my friends. I see them when I go to a party. I hear about them over the phone, or in a conversation at lunch.
Unless I’m talking about social media with a bunch of social media nerds, I don’t hear about Facebook games. Why? Facebook games aren’t good. Facebook games replace the ideas of fun and entertainment with fear of missing out.
And is that what we really want from our games? A vague threat that serves as entertainment? The concept of playing together when other people aren’t even in the same room?
Facebook - stop rewarding games that aren’t fun. Provide a platform so people can make exciting and entertaining games that are compelling enough to draw people in without corrupting their playtime.
Get these meaningless updates out of my newsfeed. I’ve got important cat pictures I need to be looking at.
8 Predictions About Social Media in 2012
Happy 2012! It’s a new year for marketers to mine more data from our user profiles on social networks. More hyper-targeted ads! How exciting!
Because the internet is fueled on rumors and nonsense, here’s what will happen in 2012. If it doesn’t happen, well it will all be ok. I think.
- Facebook will change once more, and everyone will hate it. - We all know it will change, and it will suck balls.
- Twitter will get even worse - Monetizing Twitter will take over idea to allow users to share meaningful messages. Twitter will become filled with crappy more 140 character ads, spambots, and insightful hashtags like #mydickinthreewords. Twitter will only hang on because the mass media will give it more hype than it deserves.
- Nobody except job seekers and self-absorbed, so-called
assholesexperts will care about LinkedIn. Oh, and Betty from HR will like it as well. But it’s her job to care about LinkedIn. - Google+ will either make it or fail miserably - Time to put up or shut up Google.
- Quora will go away - Seriously, it’s still here?
- There will be at least 20 new social networks that claim to be “Facebook Killers” - No one sane will use them besides Linux users and Android elitists.
- The entire internet will be absorbed in baseless iPhone rumors - Because our entire existence and worth as a human is based solely on successfully predicting a mobile phone we’ll use for a year until the next one comes out.
- There will be at least one viral cat video - Wait. There will be hundreds. And they will be the best ones ever.
Honestly, most of that is just expansions of what happened in 2011, but who am I kidding? It’s not like someone will be clever enough to make a successfully monetized social network without a newsfeed and a slew of advertising. That’s just too creative.
So here’s to 2012. May my Facebook newsfeed be ever filled with sponsored stories!
Why Politics Don’t Work on Social Networks
The American political dialogue sucks, and social networks aren’t helping.
Social networks are terrible for politics. They allow for no nuance. You can’t solve huge issues like entitlement reform, social security, and tax reform in 140 characters. The best solutions will never be that simple.
To give an example, I visited my parents yesterday. By chance caught a glance of my Dad’s Facebook newsfeed. I saw a update from one of the candidates running for president, and I couldn’t believe how vague and stupid it was.
It read:
President Obama is urging Congress to pass part of his American Jobs Act in another campaign speech today. The American people have waited long enough. It is time for real leadership. It’s time for solutions.
What the hell does that mean?
Regardless of which candidate posted this update and who is attacking who, the language is so insanely vague it means nothing. It criticizes the President for offering no solutions, when it offers no solutions itself. If that’s supposed to be “real leadership,” I’m about to run and hide.
That status is also intentionally vague, almost to the point you can read it as praise. Look what happens when you remove the let two sentences.
President Obama is urging Congress to pass part of his American Jobs Act in another campaign speech today. The American people have waited long enough.
See how much of a change that is? It’s a whole new status with a completely different context.
I realize we will never get rid of people talking about politics online. People will always need to vent their crazy opinions, no matter which way they lean. But we can’t keep this kind of dialogue on our social networks. These “discussions” aren’t discussions. They solve nothing. They offer no solutions the challenges faced by Americans every day.
Let’s stop wasting our time and energy on the political machine on our social networks, and use those networks to make the world a little bit better. Research the problems. Develop solutions that work. And stop attacking every single idea before it’s given a chance to fail on its own.
Don’t we have better things to do than sit around and complain all day?
Like This Status
You want a cheap, effective engagement tactic for Facebook? Fine.
Post “Like this status if _____.” Fill in the blank with something fundamental related to your brand. For example:
- Smart phones: “Like this status if you love texting!”
- Cars: “Like this status if you love to drive!”
- Cat food: “Like this status if you have a cat!”
See how boring that is?
The sad thing is that it works and it works extremely well. It’s easy for anyone to read that, think “I have a cat!” click the like button, and keep moving onto other half-assed Facebook statuses. Your page quickly builds up huge Edgerank score as more and more people quickly hit that like button.
This is what happens when you’re forced to game an algorithm to reach people. You stop creating interesting, compelling content that tells stories, and instead you just tell people to mindlessly click a button to stay relevant so you can sell people crap they don’t need.
Ugh. It’s a wicked game. But that’s the world we live in.
Just go like my status so more people will read this post.
Unfriending
When was the last time you unfollowed or unfriended someone?
If you’re like most people, it’s been a while since you’ve sat down and evaluated what your online relationships are doing for you.
It’s easy to just keep following people and adding friends. If it were up to the social networks, that’s all you’d do. You’d end up drowning in so much information you’d never be able to take your eyes off the news feed.
But that’s not how people live their lives.
We make choices about which relationships we build and which ones we neglect. We choose to communicate with some people on certain channels and keep the everyone else for if and when we need them. We decide to sit on Facebook and Twitter all night rather than getting coffee or dinner with someone we haven’t seen in a while.
The joy of modern life is that even when we are alone, we continue to be together, building the weakest of relationships.
But if those relationships aren’t doing anything for you, drop them. Do you know why you follow that person on Twitter? Can you remember where you actually met all 647 of your Facebook friends, and what they do for you? If you can’t give one valid reason, and you have no idea where a person is from, it’s time to unfriend them.
I know. It sucks. But sometimes, that’s what we have to do. Relationships change. People move on.
Some relationships end with a bang. Others end with a whimper. And in the age of social networks, we end ours when we click “Unfriend.”
Unfollow someone who isn’t entertaining or informing you anymore. Your time and relationships are precious. Don’t waste them.
Why I Hate Copied Facebook Statuses
Do you see updates like this on Facebook?
Every day, thousands of poorly written, copied statuses are posted on Facebook. Copied statuses suffer the worst fate of having no creativity, and they are often ignored. 90% of people won’t post these updates. Post this status and take a stand.
Ugh. I despise those updates.
Way to suck the fun out of Facebook.
I get it that there are causes you support and want to raise awareness about. We all have similar passion for issues that move us. But Facebook, Twitter, or whatever social network gives you the chance to use your own words and creativity to share your experience.
Don’t just parrot the words of others. Use this unique opportunity to change hearts and minds with your story. Why do you believe in this cause? Why should I? What can we do to make a difference besides mindlessly updating our Facebook status that only a limited network will see?
Real change requires real action. Posting to Facebook is a step, but it’s a very minor step towards real change.
So stop copying other people’s crappy statuses, shut your laptop, and get to work making a difference in the things you believe in.
How will you make this crappy world a better place?
The Anti-Social What?
Jay Dolan writes The Anti-Social Media, which is the best social media satire on the internet. Ever. Read more
