Tag Archives: facebook
Took a Dump on Facebook - The Anti-Social Media

“Frictionless” Facebook Apps Will Ruin Us All

Took a Dump on Facebook - The Anti-Social MediaOf all the things that Facebook announced at f8, the one I took most interest in was the new ability of apps to share very last thing you do.

I can’t wait for this feature to go mainstream, because soon enough we will all embarrass the hell out of ourselves.

Sure, right now you can only share how bad your taste in music is on Spotify, but that will change. Everything you read? Shared. Everything you watch? Shared. Everything you own? Shared.

Just wait, soon you’ll know when every single one of your friends has “Taken a dump.” And the world will be much better because we are all sharing everything.

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Your Life on The Facebook Timeline - The Anti-Social Media

Dr. Zuckerberg or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Timeline

Your Life on The Facebook Timeline - The Anti-Social MediaBecause I’m a Facebook developer (I know, the irony), I’ve had access to the timeline for a few days now, or basically before everyone read posts like this and enabled it for themselves.

And I hate to admit it, but I really enjoy it. I’ve already pimped mine out with my cat.

The basis of the social network is two things. the user profile, and messages between those users. That’s something simple to make, and we’ve seen it evolve into an endless stream of news feeds and updates across Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Google+, MySpace, and any other social network.

But people don’t live their lives as a never ending stream of messages in a news feed. We don’t think of our lives as each individual observation and photo. That’s why the timeline works.

Some of it is weird for sure. Previously wall posts from friends show up all over the timeline. This could be cool if they were posts like, “You’re getting married!?!” but they’re not. They’re much more trivial. In my case, they include a whole series from a guy who was desperately trying to get into my pants. While I know some people will have posts that are awesome, my experience has mostly been a rehashing of every crazy message from college, including what may be my very first wall post which says “SHOW ME YOUR BOOBS.”

We were classy in 2004 when we thought none of this would be public and we’d probably never use Facebook after college.

But some of it is touching in a funny and weird sort of way. Another messages from an ex in 2005 tells me “You’re such a Facebook whore.”

Damn he knew me well.

If there are downsides to the timeline, it’s not with the timeline itself, but rather how we use Facebook and the timeline. The awkward wall posts and statuses that you thought were dead and buried come back to haunt you, prominently posted and arranged. They’re easy enough to hide, but it can be pretty awkward the first time on your timeline. Also, personal branding will be taken to an even crazier extreme. Now you can brand your birth, your wedding, when you overcame cancer.  But I’ll get into that at a later time.

For now, maybe, just maybe, one part of social networking just got a bit better with a profile that isn’t just lists of interests, but rather reflects who a person is and how the events of their life shaped who they are. And you can finally add that you got a pet. So no more crazy pet profiles (though Miss Chibi is keeping hers).

What do you think of the timeline? Is it genius? Evil genius? Or just another crappy web profile? And are you keeping your pet’s profile? Leave a comment and let me know what you think of all these changes.

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Social Network Fetures Battle - The Anti-Social Media

Social Network Features Battle

Before Google+, Facebook was content to muck up users’ lives about once a year with news feed changes or a half-assed profile redesign.

Now, twice a week we have news announcements that go like like this:

Social Network Fetures Battle - The Anti-Social Media

Smart lists. Mobile hangouts. Huddles. News Tickers. Do any of these features really matter to users?

This all sounds like a war for who can push out more crap first, without knowing how users actually user their social network. I’m doubtful there’s a gem that will come out of all these turds.

Screw it. I’m joining not Google+. At least they have their shit together.

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Subscribe to me - The Anti-Social Media

Facebook’s Subscribe Button is Whack

Subscribe to me - The Anti-Social MediaRemember when Facebook was about connecting you with your friends and people in the world around you?

I know that idea seems novel and pure, so some of you many not believe it. But its true. I swear there was a time when Facebook didn’t just shove half-thought out features onto the site in an attempt to connect you to more meaningless crap on the internet.

The subscribe button makes no sense when connecting me with the people in my life. Now, when I go to a friend’s profile, it shows me that I’m friends with someone, and that I’m subscribed to them.

Since when did friendship equate to subscription? Are my friends Newsweek, Time, and Entertainment Weekly?

Now, if I click on the subscribe button, I get a shit ton of options that make sense logically, but not realisitcally. “Only important updates?” Who decides what’s important? Facebook? Does it decide based on comments? Because then every “important” updates will be “Why does Facebook keep changing?” will be the most important updates.


I get it that I don’t want to read all of my Aunt’s weird updates about how much she love’s her cat, but I’m a human being. I got skills. I can filter that stuff out and skim through it.

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget that Facebook is now suggesting people to subscribe to. Look, I really don’t have a shit about the latest lame update from Facebook’s COO, your consumer marketing manager who’s kind of hot, or Tom from MySpace. I have no relationship with these people. I barely give half a shit about all the half-assed updates I get from my so called “friends” that I’ve subscribed to. Why should I care when your leadership team posts about how much they love coffee and bacon?

The only reason I need more crap in my news feed is so you can display more ads in attempt to make more money off of the data I’ve given you. And I’m not falling for that. The subscribe button is a whack attempt to keep people on the Facebook even longer. It gives people a false sense of connection to people they don’t know, and confuses how we interact with the people we do know.

Let’s call it like it is: Facebook’s subscribe button is the latest piece of crap in Facebook’s war to take over the entire internet. It’s poorly implemented, poorly communicated, and holds little value for the average user.

But Facebook, focus on connecting people with their real friends. There’s more reward in making people feel good and together than giving them a false sense of connection to some vague internet personality.

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Different Facebook - The Anti-Social Media

You Can’t Do Facebook “Differently”

Different Facebook - The Anti-Social MediaIn my day job, where I get paid to be nice and talk with people on Facebook, I look at a lot of Facebook pages. Pages for brands, pages for local businesses, pages for your cat. Eventually, they all start to blend in to the same nonsense of likes, wall posts, and apps.

That’s why it drives me nuts when people say they are going to do Facebook in a different way.

What is there to do differently?

Let’s face it, the news feed is the core of the Facebook experience, and it only allows text, images, and video to reach users. While you have complete freedom over the content in that news feed, there is little to do things differently.  You can’t add in a game there. You can’t even drop in a podcast. That’s just the way Facebook is.

The biggest area to do something different is with creativity. The information offered, the apps you promote, and the images you share, which hobo from the street you let be your admin and community manager. While those actions are the start of doing something, whether that something is different, who knows.

Can we really use social networks “differently” than how they were intended? Or are we limited but he functionalities that the creators have built for us?

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New on Facebook Poop - The Anti-Social Media

Facebook Announcements

New on Facebook Poop - The Anti-Social MediaToday there will be a “awesome Facebook announcement.”


What has Facebook seriously innovated on recently?

  • Video chat? I’ve got it already everywhere else, and I don’t want more jerks trying to waste my precious time with annoying video chats.
  • Improved groups? Been there, most normal people aren’t using them.
  • Limited sharing. Been there as well, done that, not implemented well.
  • Radical redesign? Won’t happen, too many brands are invested into the current design and would raise a fuss.

Here’s what I suspect will happen.

  1. Facebook will announce a feature that does something kind of cool but kind of hard to understand for most people.
  2. Mashable will release an article calling the feature “A game changer.”
  3. The social media nerds will try it out for a few minutes and then write up a review.
  4. The rest of us will maybe try it once, get bored, and just go back to posting funny videos, angry statuses, and LOLcats.

Does this mean Facebook shouldn’t innovate? No. But they have to go with the approach that makes everyone unhappy and make changes unilaterally. People are too stuck in their rut to try anything new on their own, so they need to force them. Otherwise we’ll have one more Facebook feature that we never use. And really, who needs that?

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Like Gate - The Anti-Social Media

Do You Like Me?

Today’s guest post comes from Allison Najman (@mbagrrl)  You can visit her site to stalk her learn more about her. When she’s not being snarky for this blog, Allison is defying online marketer and social media guru stereotypes.

Like Gate - The Anti-Social MediaDo you like me? Do you really like me?

Do you bribe your friends to hang out with you? I didn’t think so.

That’s what brands are doing with a Facebook tactic known as like-gating (only being able to see content on a page if you “like” it).

As marketer, I completely understand the temptation to like-gate, it forces people to like you (even if they really don’t), it makes brands’ fan numbers look good and justifies social media budgets to the big wigs. I can hear the executive oohs and ahhs: “We have 157% more fans than we did last year without improving our content or investing more money!?! That’s fantastic.” But all the smart social media people out there reading this know that social media success is not just about how many followers or fans you have, right? RIGHT? (If you don’t believe this, then you have bigger problems than like-gating.)

Now, I am not completely a hippy-dippy communist and believe everything should be free and include puppies and rainbows. I do think like-gating has its place. I understand you want more from me to be BFFs rather than casual acquaintances.  But convince me you are worthy of my valuable stream real estate between Farmville updates and what my high school best friend’s cat had for lunch before I add you to my life. Give me a preview of what our relationship could be and make me want more rather than pretending to be under a shroud of mystery.

As with any relationship, don’t you want people to like you for who you are and not because they are forced to?  Be yourself and put out good and engaging content and your true fans, those who genuinely like you for you are, will come.

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Facebook Political Ads - The Anti-Social Media

Facebook, Politics, and Advertising

Facebook Political Ads - The Anti-Social MediaPolitics ruin social networks. Social networks make fun and exciting things more fun because everyone can have a word, but politics get worse and worse because any idiot with half a sense of how to use a keyboard can argue their half-baked conspiracy theory. Friends turn against friends as one person bashes another’s favored candidate, and any real political decisions that are made are bogged down by the weight of thousands of comments that are nothing more than mindless, backwashed rhetoric.

This has been going on since Al Gore started the internet and will continue until we are all dead or under the control of Big Brother. Just like your Uncle Bob will watch Fox News and enrage your hippy cousin, people will continue to argue about how to run the country as long as there still is a country. That’s how politics work.

So, with the rumbling of the 2012 American presidential race starting over here, I was surprised to get a Facebook ad for the group American’s For Prosperity. I don’t list my political views on Facebook because I already deal with enough crap. I don’t need my friends telling me I’m already even more in the wrong. So, I guess this group may think I’m independent and easily swayed by the crap I see on Facebook.

Now, before I click the ad, I can already tell that I’m going to hate American’s For Prosperity. What American would be against prosperity? That name itself is so loaded my monitor began to fold over.

So, I click the ad because I know if I click that ad, my click will cost that group money. It’s my own way of bleeding the beast.

Unfortunately, American’s for Prosperity want me to “like” them. So, I cut through their bullshit landing page and go to their wall. Their wall just wants me to go get angry about THINGS and then go to events to show my anger about THINGS. I try to figure out who is funding them, but of course, they don’t have to say any of that madness on Facebook.

So I have to ask Google and Wikipedia, the keepers of information on the internet, who tell me all about Americans for Prosperity and what they stand for and who lines their pockets so they can advertise to everyone on Facebook. For my international readers, in America, political ads on radio have to have a line that says “Paid for by whatever group paid for the ad.” This is so you can attempt to figure out what group is trying to advertise enough so you’ll believe what they say.

Where was the disclosure that this was a political ad? How is the average Facebook user, who has no attention span, supposed to know this isn’t just someone else trying to get them away from Farmville? They won’t care to do all the research.

Facebook, as you become a bigger and more important advertiser and base camp for political movements, you need to have something called ethics. You may have heard of these before your CEO dropped out of college. People need to be able to clearly know when an organization with a blatant political agenda is advertising to them (Because, let’s be honest, any organization has a political agenda. Some just hide it much better).

Facebook, you need to implement this system now before the American government does this. If you don’t do this now, it will be imposed upon you, and it will be uglier, stupider, and more horrifying than any of us can imagine. No one will “like” that.

And politicians - stay off of Facebook. I just want to share pictures of my cat, and I already have my crazy uncle to deal with. Don’t make a bad thing even worse.

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