F*%$ You Friday! Social Media Job Titles

Cat has a better job than you - The Anti-Social MediaWhen The Anti-Social Media started getting somewhat popular last summer, I had to figure out what to call myself as a blogger. Because I was writing about social media, “blogger” wasn’t a big enough title for people. I had to be larger than life with a title that was even larger than that.

Apparently writing anything about Facebook puts you into a bubble where you must add the words “Social Media” to some kind of noun. The crazier that noun is, the better. Crazy nouns are what make businesses trust in you apparently.

Anyways, I sat down and came up with a bunch of titles.

  • Social Media Sadist
  • Social Media Asshole
  • Social Media Satirist
  • Social Media Jaguar Warrior
  • Social Media Assassin

Those are fun, and I still use “Social Media Satirist.” However, I like to default to “Founder and Blogger,” because I now have Social Media in my actual job title.  And I can’t make fun of myself. That would be too easy.

Still, I love giving titles. For a while, I decided that my cat, Chibi, was Chief Hatred Officer here at The Anti-Social Media.  However, as I move into new challenges, I know she needs to be challenged as well.

First of all, Chibi is not hateful enough to be a Chief Officer of Hatred. Sure, she may like to claw and bite things, and torture any living creature that is smaller than her, but she isn’t hateful. Also, I can’t afford any lawsuits from anything that might be construed as a hate crime.

So, effective immediately, Chibi Dolan will be Vice-President of Community Management. Chibi’s specialties in sadism, torture, and playing with her prey are  a great asset to her role.  Her tactic of “sleep for 18 hours and let the community sort itself out” has proven to be both revolutionary and forward thinking, and I look forward to see her build her skills in this role.

Also, we may be looking to add a Vice-President of Engagement Branding soon. Let me know if you have any referrals.

So, who would you kill for the job titles I give to my cats? Do you consider your blog popular enough to give yourself a job title? I have a feeling that I’m not the only blogger who lives in a crazy fantasy world.


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23 Responses to “F*%$ You Friday! Social Media Job Titles”

  1. A. Coward (mail is real) April 15, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    Chief Bacon Officer

  2. John Morrow April 15, 2011 at 9:37 am #

    Douchebag What’s in Charge (DWiC)

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

      I hate when bags are in charge.

  3. Gwynne Murphy April 15, 2011 at 2:49 pm #

    How about Social Media Ninja Killer?

    • Jay April 15, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

      Ooo! Violent.

  4. Nellie B. April 15, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    I think Social Media Jaguar Warrior is pretty epic.

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      We kill the ninjas and jedis.

  5. Krista April 15, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

    I love your posts, Jay- so cathartic! I’ve never been a fan of titles, mostly because people take them way too seriously in the corporate world.

    Why not Social Media Bullsh*t Detector? Seems to be a lot of BS these days in social media, so I would assume one would need a detector to avoid stepping in it. But you know what happens when you assume…

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      I think that would have worked well for me. Maybe I’ll switch to that for a while.

  6. Amy G. H. April 15, 2011 at 6:39 pm #

    My blog is about Raleigh drink specials. How about Specials Specialist? =D

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

      Well isn’t that special?

  7. Michael LaRocca April 16, 2011 at 1:53 am #

    If it doesn’t sort itself in 18 hours, sleep for another 18 hours and it will.

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

      I can’t sleep for 18 minutes, let alone 18 hours.

  8. Christy Tarner April 16, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    Since my blog is about my weight loss, I’m thinking Executive Shrinkage Enumerator.

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      As a man, the word shrinkage never carries a good context to it.

  9. Gini Dietrich April 17, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    Chief Mother Fucker…CMF for short.

    • Jay April 17, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      Stop messing with my Mom.

  10. The SMB April 18, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    I already gave myself a job title. It’s strikingly similar to those on your list. Which means we’re both geniuses (or gurus or ninjas or whatever they call themselves these days.) I think we’re on to something here…

    • Jay April 18, 2011 at 11:11 pm #

      Social media bastard?

  11. Davina K. Brewer April 19, 2011 at 9:48 am #

    Social Media Engagement Dickwad; Chief Executive of Viral Community Empowerment, no rashes here; Social Media Badasses, we’ll put the bad in your badass strategies. Man just run the bullshit job title creator, add ‘social’ and watch the suck. LOVE. Love it!

    • Jay April 19, 2011 at 10:02 am #

      No rashes here. That’s going to be my new tagline.

      • Davina K. Brewer April 19, 2011 at 10:23 am #

        By all means, or you can douche it up a la: certified ‘rash free’ zone. FWIW.

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