When The Anti-Social Media started getting somewhat popular last summer, I had to figure out what to call myself as a blogger. Because I was writing about social media, “blogger” wasn’t a big enough title for people. I had to be larger than life with a title that was even larger than that.
Apparently writing anything about Facebook puts you into a bubble where you must add the words “Social Media” to some kind of noun. The crazier that noun is, the better. Crazy nouns are what make businesses trust in you apparently.
Anyways, I sat down and came up with a bunch of titles.
- Social Media Sadist
- Social Media Asshole
- Social Media Satirist
- Social Media Jaguar Warrior
- Social Media Assassin
Those are fun, and I still use “Social Media Satirist.” However, I like to default to “Founder and Blogger,” because I now have Social Media in my actual job title. And I can’t make fun of myself. That would be too easy.
Still, I love giving titles. For a while, I decided that my cat, Chibi, was Chief Hatred Officer here at The Anti-Social Media. However, as I move into new challenges, I know she needs to be challenged as well.
First of all, Chibi is not hateful enough to be a Chief Officer of Hatred. Sure, she may like to claw and bite things, and torture any living creature that is smaller than her, but she isn’t hateful. Also, I can’t afford any lawsuits from anything that might be construed as a hate crime.
So, effective immediately, Chibi Dolan will be Vice-President of Community Management. Chibi’s specialties in sadism, torture, and playing with her prey are a great asset to her role. Her tactic of “sleep for 18 hours and let the community sort itself out” has proven to be both revolutionary and forward thinking, and I look forward to see her build her skills in this role.
Also, we may be looking to add a Vice-President of Engagement Branding soon. Let me know if you have any referrals.
So, who would you kill for the job titles I give to my cats? Do you consider your blog popular enough to give yourself a job title? I have a feeling that I’m not the only blogger who lives in a crazy fantasy world.
Chief Bacon Officer
Yum.
Douchebag What’s in Charge (DWiC)
I hate when bags are in charge.
How about Social Media Ninja Killer?
Ooo! Violent.
I think Social Media Jaguar Warrior is pretty epic.
We kill the ninjas and jedis.
I love your posts, Jay- so cathartic! I’ve never been a fan of titles, mostly because people take them way too seriously in the corporate world.
Why not Social Media Bullsh*t Detector? Seems to be a lot of BS these days in social media, so I would assume one would need a detector to avoid stepping in it. But you know what happens when you assume…
I think that would have worked well for me. Maybe I’ll switch to that for a while.
My blog is about Raleigh drink specials. How about Specials Specialist? =D
Well isn’t that special?
If it doesn’t sort itself in 18 hours, sleep for another 18 hours and it will.
I can’t sleep for 18 minutes, let alone 18 hours.
Since my blog is about my weight loss, I’m thinking Executive Shrinkage Enumerator.
As a man, the word shrinkage never carries a good context to it.
Chief Mother Fucker…CMF for short.
Stop messing with my Mom.
I already gave myself a job title. It’s strikingly similar to those on your list. Which means we’re both geniuses (or gurus or ninjas or whatever they call themselves these days.) I think we’re on to something here…
Social media bastard?
Social Media Engagement Dickwad; Chief Executive of Viral Community Empowerment, no rashes here; Social Media Badasses, we’ll put the bad in your badass strategies. Man just run the bullshit job title creator, add ‘social’ and watch the suck. LOVE. Love it!
No rashes here. That’s going to be my new tagline.
By all means, or you can douche it up a la: certified ‘rash free’ zone. FWIW.