Facebook’s Subscribe Button is Whack

Subscribe to me - The Anti-Social MediaRemember when Facebook was about connecting you with your friends and people in the world around you?

I know that idea seems novel and pure, so some of you many not believe it. But its true. I swear there was a time when Facebook didn’t just shove half-thought out features onto the site in an attempt to connect you to more meaningless crap on the internet.

The subscribe button makes no sense when connecting me with the people in my life. Now, when I go to a friend’s profile, it shows me that I’m friends with someone, and that I’m subscribed to them.

Since when did friendship equate to subscription? Are my friends Newsweek, Time, and Entertainment Weekly?

Now, if I click on the subscribe button, I get a shit ton of options that make sense logically, but not realisitcally. “Only important updates?” Who decides what’s important? Facebook? Does it decide based on comments? Because then every “important” updates will be “Why does Facebook keep changing?” will be the most important updates.


I get it that I don’t want to read all of my Aunt’s weird updates about how much she love’s her cat, but I’m a human being. I got skills. I can filter that stuff out and skim through it.

And while we’re at it, let’s not forget that Facebook is now suggesting people to subscribe to. Look, I really don’t have a shit about the latest lame update from Facebook’s COO, your consumer marketing manager who’s kind of hot, or Tom from MySpace. I have no relationship with these people. I barely give half a shit about all the half-assed updates I get from my so called “friends” that I’ve subscribed to. Why should I care when your leadership team posts about how much they love coffee and bacon?

The only reason I need more crap in my news feed is so you can display more ads in attempt to make more money off of the data I’ve given you. And I’m not falling for that. The subscribe button is a whack attempt to keep people on the Facebook even longer. It gives people a false sense of connection to people they don’t know, and confuses how we interact with the people we do know.

Let’s call it like it is: Facebook’s subscribe button is the latest piece of crap in Facebook’s war to take over the entire internet. It’s poorly implemented, poorly communicated, and holds little value for the average user.

But Facebook, focus on connecting people with their real friends. There’s more reward in making people feel good and together than giving them a false sense of connection to some vague internet personality.

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13 Responses to “Facebook’s Subscribe Button is Whack”

  1. Morgan September 20, 2011 at 10:47 am #

    Just like you said, if I have no relationship with these people, then why in the frick would I want to subscribe to them? If they’re THAT important, then they’ll either A) Have a website where I can read their blog. B) Have a fan page. Or C) Have a Twitter.

    No matter how you slice it, I can get the same info from those people without having to subscribe.

    This is really the only feature of FB’s that I absolutely dislike with a passion.

    • Jay September 20, 2011 at 10:55 am #

      I dislike all features on Facebook with a passion. It makes it easier to ooze hatred every time I’m on there.

  2. derekWwyatt September 20, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    Dear People of Facebook,

    It’s pretty egotistical of people to assume that the world out there (those who aren’t your friends) are still interested in the crap you have to say.

    The only strangers that I know of who would subscribe to what you have to say are stalkers…

    Thank You!

    • Jay September 21, 2011 at 10:16 am #

      I love my stalkers.

      Also, I’m so glad I can finally stalk Tom from MySpace. I was wondering where the hell he was.

  3. Camilo Olea September 20, 2011 at 3:18 pm #

    Facebook: the MySpace of features?

    Seriously, I still don’t understand this. So I can be “friends” with someone and also may or may not be “subscribed” to them?

    When did the Internet stopped being a simple place to look at cat videos?

  4. dennis September 20, 2011 at 11:20 pm #

    The best part of this rant is at the bottom. on my screen about 3 inches below the last tirade about the commercial use of Facebook is the Subscribe button for Social Sociopaths. What is the old saying about do as I say….

    • Jay September 21, 2011 at 10:15 am #

      I added that because some of my fans hate Facebook, some of them hate Twitter. Some of them hate everything. I try to meet them where we can all hate together.

  5. Henri Hämäläinen September 21, 2011 at 2:21 am #

    Spot on.

    I guess they have too much money and people and they just need to make new updates to their site. Somehow I feel it’s sense of weakness when they need to start mimicking features from Google+ and Twitter etc.

    Facebook has been alright as it has been, now they have made it much more complex. I guess it means FB had grown up. Isn’t that what happens to all grown-ups; everything get more complicated..

    • Jay September 21, 2011 at 10:17 am #

      So true. I used to be a simple blogger who hated everything social media. Now I’m a complex blogger who hates everything social media.

  6. Brankica September 22, 2011 at 7:41 pm #

    I agree with you. I hate every single new update they roll out but I kinda have to be on FB because I am 7.000 miles from family and all my friends and writing an email to each of them (instead posting a FB update) would just take too much time. I know it sounds lame, but it is making my communication with them easier.

    However, I was perfectly happy of the way we were communicating 2 years ago. Since then people are finding it more difficult to use it and more and more of my friends are dropping out of it.

    Wish they would stop but they rolled out all this lame sH|t to catch up with Google+, all the new features are so not original. OMG, I hate them so much sometimes.


  1. Calm Down Facebook, Change Isn’t Always Necessary « Robin Ray - September 20, 2011

    [...] what’s up with this new subscribe button?  To quote Jay Dolan, writer of The Anti-Social Media blog, “Let’s call it like it is: Facebook’s subscribe button is the latest piece of crap [...]

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