Facebook Announcements

New on Facebook Poop - The Anti-Social MediaToday there will be a “awesome Facebook announcement.”


What has Facebook seriously innovated on recently?

  • Video chat? I’ve got it already everywhere else, and I don’t want more jerks trying to waste my precious time with annoying video chats.
  • Improved groups? Been there, most normal people aren’t using them.
  • Limited sharing. Been there as well, done that, not implemented well.
  • Radical redesign? Won’t happen, too many brands are invested into the current design and would raise a fuss.

Here’s what I suspect will happen.

  1. Facebook will announce a feature that does something kind of cool but kind of hard to understand for most people.
  2. Mashable will release an article calling the feature “A game changer.”
  3. The social media nerds will try it out for a few minutes and then write up a review.
  4. The rest of us will maybe try it once, get bored, and just go back to posting funny videos, angry statuses, and LOLcats.

Does this mean Facebook shouldn’t innovate? No. But they have to go with the approach that makes everyone unhappy and make changes unilaterally. People are too stuck in their rut to try anything new on their own, so they need to force them. Otherwise we’ll have one more Facebook feature that we never use. And really, who needs that?

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17 Responses to “Facebook Announcements”

  1. MKR July 6, 2011 at 8:48 am #

    New features are created for people who make important spending decisions (ads, hiring social medias “experts” to set up a FB page) with feature comparison tables.

    • Jay July 7, 2011 at 7:13 am #

      Yes… group chat and video chat are just the features advertisers have been clamoring for.

  2. Rob July 6, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    We all need features! We need features featuring our features. Then a feature that announces the newness of our featuring feature. And a feature that changes our features so no one recognizes our features in the future.


    I have now sufficiently ruined the word. Take that Facebook.

    • Jay July 7, 2011 at 7:12 am #

      They’ll just releases updates and upgrades. Synonyms are not your friends.

  3. Danny Brown July 6, 2011 at 3:20 pm #

    Whatever it is, I’m playing a drinking game. Any time one of the social media “leaders” writes about it, I’m downing a shot of the best tequila. I expect to be comatose for the rest of the week.

    • Camilo Olea July 6, 2011 at 3:24 pm #

      I like this. And salud, señor!

      • Danny Brown July 6, 2011 at 4:33 pm #

        Salut indeed, Camilo! :)

    • Rob July 6, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

      I wanna hang out with this guy!

      • Danny Brown July 6, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

        Hehe, cheers Rob - I believe Jay is acting as middle man and accepting bribes in goat milk and kangaroo surf hats. :)

        • Jay July 7, 2011 at 7:10 am #

          What kind of bribes are those? Cash only please.

    • Jay July 7, 2011 at 7:08 am #

      I love this idea, but I don’t want to kill myself, not yet.

  4. Camilo Olea July 6, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

    Welcome to the VHS-Betamax war all over again.

    I predict it will become a “feature war” where Facebook and Google will be flashing their latest, shiny features only available in their platforms.

    That is of course unless Google+ fails miserably like mostly every social thing Google has released.

    • Rob July 6, 2011 at 3:27 pm #

      Will the porn industry have a major deciding factor in this war as well? (That’s one reason VHS won out, Sony refused to release porn on beta-max. Who’d have thought?)

      • Camilo Olea July 6, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

        That was a rethorical question, right Rob?

        Obviously, porn rules and decides the fate of mankind and the course of technology every time.

        • Rob July 6, 2011 at 3:36 pm #

          Ha, silly me. I should have known better than to question the power of the porn.

    • Jay July 7, 2011 at 7:11 am #

      I go with Blu-ray…. wait, which social network is in HD?

  5. Sydney @ Social Dynamics July 12, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    I think they are inclined to add more features in their platform, otherwise they’ll end up facing their demise a lot earlier than they would like. I wonder what’s the standard mortality rate for most social networking plaform is?