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Tweets I Hate - Politics Edition

An election happened in America yesterday. I’m glad the election is over, so I can go back to my normal stable of commercials for fiber supplements and prescription medications I need to ask my doctor about.

However, politics brings out the absolute worst in human beings.  Whether it’s outright lies, blatant attacks, or pure corruption, there’s something that absolutely disgusts me as a voter about how we have our civic discourse and allow our politicians and media outlets to talk to us.  We’re smarter and better than that.

Still, some people use Twitter and other social media to spread divisive crap.  I’ve written before how I think politics divides people online easily.  This is the crap I noticed, over, and over again this past cycle.  Let’s put this to an end, sit down nicely, and make real changes.

  1. Anything about Sarah Palin - Sarah Palin divides people.  Period. I wanted to start this with the sentence, “Wherever you stand on Sarah Palin,” but that just proved my point that she does not bring people together. Let Sarah Palin do her own politicking.
  2. Characters Tweets about Politics - I don’t care what Drunk Hulk or General Grievous think of American politics. They aren’t real. Give me real information.
  3. What the F*@# has Obama Done? - Democrats, if you want to spread online campaign materials, try to do so BEFORE the day of the election.
  4. Witchcraft and Masturbation - I’m glad that as Americans, our politics are based entirely on someone’s religion and their stance on what people do in the bedroom. I’m also glad that people can’t fuck up as kids and change for the better.  EVER.

I have to admit, there were some tweets I loved this election cycle.

  1. The encouragement to vote - Regardless of people’s personal politics and who they would vote for, I saw a lot of people encouraging others to get out and vote. This is awesome. Peer pressuring people to vote is the best thing we can do.

What did you see that you hated? Surely something got under your skin.  I want to know about it.

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Everyone’s Workweek Sucks

I’ve noticed a few people whose Twitter streams look something like this. Every. Single. Week.

  • Monday: “Ugh, it’s Monday :(
  • Tuesday: “At least it’s not Monday”
  • Wednesday: “Happy Hump Day!”
  • Thursday: “It’s almost Friday”
  • Friday: “Happy Friday!”

Do we see the problem?

Tweeting (or Facebook-ing) this way strikes me as extremely unprofessional.  Writing updates like that week in, and week out makes me think you’re really unhappy with your work.

We all get cases of the Mondays, and sometimes we really can’t wait for the weekend because we are doing something really cool.  That’s ok to share every now and then. I’m human. I get that.

But don’t start narrating every week of work like it’s torture.  There are millions of people who would probably kill to have your stable job where you get paid and have time to be on a Twitter.

Or maybe you are writing those updates every week to get fired.  People have done weirder things.

Spare me the drama though.  Stop greeting each day like it’s a chore and get through the work week like the rest of us do without complaining so much. Who knows, maybe if you complain less you’ll feel better about things. (You won’t)

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More Tweets that Drive me Insane.

It’s been a while since I’ve discussed the huge number of tweets that drive me up the wall.  I’d say the internet got better at tweeting, but if it really did I wouldn’t have to write this post, now would I?

Here’s what’s been grinding my gears recently:

  • The Epic Retweeter - I follow several people who have no original thoughts. They only retweet articles, and could never draft an original sentence even if their very lives depended on it.  Retweets are great, but as with all great things, use moderation, or I will unfollow your uncreative self.
  • YouTube Pollution - YouTube lets users link their Twitter account so people can see when they upload a video, favorite a video or comment on something.  This sounds nice, but all of the tweets are boring garbage.  Stop linking these accounts, and selectively share the things that are really important.
  • What you’re eating - Is what you’re putting in your mouth going to affect me? No? Then don’t write about it. Give your readers something that has real entertainment or informational value.  ”Mmm, Waffles!” doesn’t quite do that.
  • @ replies to celebrities - Talking to celebrities on Twitter is like talking to a wall.  If you expect a reply, I worry about you.  And if you drag me into the conversation, I will back away very, very slowly.
  • Anything about your bathroom habits - Can’t we all agree that the general public doesn’t need to know about your bodily excrement?  Unless you’re under the age of four, you don’t run out of the bathroom screaming “I POOPED!”  Please, save us all the horror and disgust and keep it to yourself.

What tweets are you all seeing that drive you nuts? Take the moment to vent and let me know what’s giving you grief.

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    Even More Tweets I Hate

    Some tweets make me want to claw my eyes out with a spork.  Even though I haven’t posted in a while about the tweets make me wish I had been born without the capacity for written language, I still see awful tweets.  Tweets that are boring.  Tweets that are unoriginal.  Tweets that make sense to no one, not even the original author.  Here are some awful tweets I’m seeing recently.

    1. Good Night - This tweet is a cornucopia of mixed messages.  One one hand, it says, “Readers, I’m still here!”  On the other hand, it says, “I am now sleeping, leave me alone.”  Your followers have common sense.  Not only will they realize you’re still alive if you don’t tweet for twelve hours, they will also leave you alone after midnight.  Unless they are psychopaths.
    2. The Photo Without Explanation -This is similar to the link with no explanation, but I can tell it’s a picture from the URL you posted. However, I worry about what I’m in for without an explanation.  It’s not hard to write “Cute Puppies!” or “This girl make you cry”  Just put something so I know I’m not looking at your butt.
    3. Anything about your iPad - I’m not jealous.  At least not yet.  But still, I don’t need to know how awesome it, how it’s cooler than a laptop, or how it saved a kitten from a fire.  Until you can justify talking about your iPad in terms of usefulness, please, keep your iPraise to your iSelf.
    4. Multi-Part Tweets - No matter how fast you write, someone in my stream will always interrupt your story.  ALWAYS.  I don’t care that you were kind and used a (1/2) and (2/2) to help me follow.  It still gets broken up.  It takes me much more time to read it than it should.  Twitter is all about concision.  If you need an example to learn how to tell a story quickly, check out Fireland.  If it can’t be told in one tweet, is it right for Twitter?
    5. Drunk Tweets - Do I need to say more?  If I do, you may have a problem.

    This is your chance to vent.  Let me know what you’re seeing out there that gets under your skin.

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